Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Sky is Falling!

DO you know anybody who is a catastrophizer?
You know what I mean, a person who makes mountains out of molehills.

My Mother is a catastrophizer to the nth degree.
Ever night before going to bed she is compelled to watch the weather forecast. And if the forecast is something like "tomorrow there is a 80% Probability of precipitation and we should receive about 3mm of rain". She interprets that as a storm of hurricane proportions and says "Ohhhhhhhhh, oh boy!" "What am I going to do tomorrow?"
"Why Mom, what's the matter?"
"There's going to be a storm tomorrow! I'm sure that the water on the ground will be so much that tires will spin and I will get water in the engine and the car will break. Then I will be late for work and will probably get fired. So then I will have no job and no money and no car, and no money to buy a new car, because my car broke from the rain".
**sigh, long slow exhale**

Or like for example when I put the first scratch on my new car. Yes, I put the first scratch on my own new car about a month after I got it. I did it with a snow shovel while shovelling the driveway. So I'm bummed about it and I tell my mom, and instead of giving me a soothing word "It's ok, just a small scratch, it was bound to get scratched eventually, no big deal" I get:
"Oh my God! What have you done! Now it will rust, probably tomorrow, then the rust will spread, and your entire car will fall apart, probably in a few years, maybe before you've finished paying it off!"
"Mom!! That's not helpful to me!"
"Oh, sorry, well maybe you could get it fixed. How much would that cost do you think? Probably more than the car cost you in the first place, so now you've paid double what your car is worth, but at least you'll still have a car."

Sometimes, when I'm in a very mischievous mood, I wonder what it would be like if I just fuelled the fire.
In my head the senario plays out like this:
"Mira, I think the sky is falling"
"Oh yeah Mom, didn't you know?"
"What? You know about this? Explain it to me!"
"Well, just like you said the sky is falling, scientists are predicting that the world is going to end next Thursday."
"Oh my, Thursday. What are we going to do?"
"There's nothing we can do, we just have to sit and wait to die"
"Well, if we're all going to die at once, then there's probably going to be a line-up at Heaven's gate, and what if I have to go to the bathroom! Then I'll loose my place, and have to wait even longer. I will probably end-up at the back of the line waiting to get into Heaven for all eternity!"

Poor Mom, for her the sky is always falling.

7 comments:

ghanima said...

Allow me to say that this is marvelously written. Mir, this is marvelously written.

Anonymous said...

Yes.. I also really enjoyed this entry... really entertaining. What I find especially annoying about "catastrophizers" is when I have made it a point to tell them it's not a big deal but as soon as I do they make a big deal of it despite my efforts. Quite frustrating.

Caty said...

Hi Mir!

This was super funny. Our mom's kinda like that too sometimes. Worries about everything - especially things she can't do anything about.

mom: "I'm worried about your Tita (aunt)"
me: "Can you do anything about it?"
mom: "No."

At which point I leave the room.

Joy said...

*Raises hand* That's me. Especially when I'm tired. Funny how something that seems desperate at 4 a.m. clears up by 10. (Ever woke up crying over something that happened to someone in a dream that you've never met and know is completely fictional?)

Anonymous said...

If your mom ever goes on about rust, just give me a call and I'll drive over with my unmaintained, but still working, '91 Civic. One of my friends always likes to razz me, being worried he'll fall through the floor of the passenger seat. And I always point out that the floor is plastic, and can't rust out. :p

Of course, if you just assume the worst will always happen, you'll pretty much always be pleasantly surprised. heh heh.

Emma said...

You'll be in for a big "I told you so" if she's ever right. :P

Anonymous said...

Mira - you are hilarious! sk