Now this may have been because we were talking about the discomforts of gender specific medical exams after dinner last night. Or maybe even because I watched the episode of 90210 where Andrea goes into labour prematurely right before falling asleep, but I had the weirdest dream last night.
And lucky you guys, get to read all about it.
So my dream begins with me suddenly being about 6 months pregnant. And the way I discover in the dream that I am pregnant at all is because the baby starts to move around and makes an unusual impression on my belly which a lady at church sees.
So I am just as shocked as everybody else that this is going on at this point in time.
Then the associate pastor of my church takes me aside to talk to me about this new development. and I say to him - "Mark I have no idea how this could have happened, you don't understand, I've never had sex."
He looks at me skeptically and I am feeling real desperation that he doesn't believe me.
"No seriously, not even close - nothing south of the equator, I swear!" "Heck, technically nothing south of the North Pole!"
So now I am feeling yucky - I am pregnant, I feel like I am totally being shunned as a heretic (who do I think I am the Virgin Mary?). I am pregnant which is cool - but I will have to go through the pain of childbirth.
And I have no idea how any of this happened to me.
I spend the rest of my dream trying desperately to convince people (everyone I know) that I am still a virgin, and nobody is believing me. In fact people are starting to doubt my sanity, and the dreaded sympathy for the poor crazy pregnant girl is coming out.
That's the last part I remember. It was really weird. Especially because I had such mixed emotions in the dream - I was in awe that a life was developing inside me, and shamed because people thought it was ill begotten, and confused because I had no idea how it happened, and hurt because no one believed me.