Friday, April 17, 2009

This is NOT a Pitt Stop

Lately I have found myself in an oddly reflective frame of mind.

It's a good kind of reflection. Powerful, encouraging and motivating.

And true to form, God is coming at me from all directions to drive this new truth home.

So here's what's been going on:

#1 - I've started hanging out with an old friend again. It's been a while since we connected. She's a blast! I have been so invigorated by my interactions with her. She's the first person I have ever met who has actually thoroughly celebrated being single. Most people I know whether consciously or subconsciously treat being single as a pitt stop. A necessary but temporary state towards the goal.

And while I do want to get married and have a family of my own, I have caught her enthusiasm for "this is perfect for right now, and purposeful right now!"

So while I am a novice at living in the moment, and not worrying about tomorrow, because today has enough troubles of it's own (Matthew 6:34) - I am amazed at the effect my just starting out baby steps have had.

For example, my previous self, if I had met a guy that seemed nice, and cute, and interesting would probably would have started thinking about what we would be like in a relationship together, what our wedding would look like, and probably even what we would name our children.

The new and improved me, just thinks, cool, nice guy, cute and interesting. And that's it!

The old me would get uncomfortable when a stranger would smile at me - I'd think, who is this person, what do they want, and my future thinking brain would wander.

The new me, was walking to class last week, and a very very good looking guy smiled at me. So my live in the moment self smiled back.

It was nice.

It's not always easy, my brain is so used to being a future-thinking entity. Sometimes I have to push the future thinking back down. And sometimes it's ok to let the future thinker wander - it is an important part of somethings, just not EVERYTHING.

I am really enjoying the new and improved try-to-live-in-the-moment-most-of-the-time me.