Sunday, May 27, 2007

Movie Love

Last night Rydra & I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3.
Never mind that it was opening week-end and we had to drive to 3 theaters to find a non sold-out show. And while we were trying for an 8pm show, the earliest one we caught started at 10:30pm. I won't even tell you what time I got home after a 3 hour movie.

On, and don't worry what I'm about to tell you is not a spoiler.

So the movie is mostly an action flick, but there are still some elements of romance in it - the whole story between Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan.

It's about 3/4 of the way through the movie and Will and Elizabeth are sharing a tender moment. And I kind of sighed (yeah, I'm a girl) and thought, "I just want somebody to love me like that."

And God spoke to me.
Don't worry not in a crazy audible hallucination sort of voice.
But in the still small voice after the wind.

He said, "I do!"
"I love you so much, I sent a part of myself, my son to you."
"I suffered and died a painful death, so that we could be together for all eternity"
"And I do it all, even when you don't reciprocate my love in any way, or even recognize it."

And I started to cry.
So I was the only idiot crying in Pirates of the Caribbean. Good thing that theater is pitch black.

But I was also so fully aware of just how loved I am.
Loved completely, unconditionally, and based on no actions of my own.
Loved beyond all measure, and for all eternity.

So I think how God loves me and you gives Will Turner more than just a run for his money (ignoring the fact that he's a fictional character in a fantasy movie).

And it's very cool to know that I am loved more amazingly than any writer could ever conceptualize or any movie maker could ever bring to a screen.

I am loved! God freely gives me His love every day, despite the fact that I have done nothing to earn or deserve it.

I have been feeling all warm and fuzzy ever since I remembered that yesterday.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

My Haircut

I am going to get my haircut today. My appointment is right after work.
Now I know what you're thinking - big deal.
But it is a big deal for me - it probably is for most people with my kind of hair.

So my crazy, kinky curls need specialized attention.
My usual experience at the hair salon includes a stylist raving about my curls - giving me a BAD cut, poofing my hair out to all eternity and charging me a month's wages for the debacle!

When I was younger I used to go home in tears every time. My Mom would let me cry a little, wash my hair again and then do her best to tame the beast.

Because of this repetitive trauma, I do my best to avoid getting my hair cut. I usually save-up all the money I get on my birthday and get my cut around that time.

The last time I got my hair cut was in January - it was on a whim. That's your first indicator of disaster. I walked into this salon and innocently enquired as to the cost. I was talked into a colour and cut by the stylist who swore up and down that he had experience with curly hair.

The colour job was awesome - the lady matched my own hair so perfectly that some people didn't even notice that I got rid of my blonde highlights, and almost 6 months later, I have no visible roots.
The cut however was another story. So the guy tells me he's going to give me "the Rat cut" - which is suppose to be state of the art. And promised not to take a lot of the length (if you know anything about how curly hair shrinks, you know how important the length issue is) So he takes my hair, divides it into sections and starts twisting them around his fingers and cuts up the length of the hair.
Yep - UP the length of the hair.
So I ended up with these insane layers that looked like antenna poking out of my head at weird angles all the way around.

Then he brushed it out (again if you know anything about curly hair, this is where you would utter a horrified gasp) and sent me on my merry way.

So 3 hours later, I'm sitting at my friend's house, and my hair has added about 3 inches to my height and about as much to my width as well! Don't forget the unusual alien antenna halo to finish off the look.

So suffice it to say, getting my haircut is a big deal.

Another weird thing I have noticed about when I gear-up to get my haircut (because it does take some psychological prepping) I start to fall in love with my hair, or get lots of compliments on it or something like that.

Take Today for example. In the interests of trying to get the best haircut, I styled my hair and left it down. I read in a magazine that you need to show a stylist your hair as you want to wear it - so they can get an idea for the look, feel and texture of it before getting to work. Usually by the time I get to the salon my hair has been in a bun all week. So Today, I left my hair down, and 5 people have complimented me on it today. Seriously 5 people!

I wonder if psychologically I am just noticing it more, to deter myself from getting the haircut? But then that backfires on me because I still get the haircut, but I have a falsely positive view of my hair before the cut which only increases the margin of disappointment.

Maybe it's just part of the whole "Change is hard for people" phenomenon.

I'll have to keep you posted as to my post haircut experience.

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Catastrophizer rises again!

As many of you who read my blog know, my mother is a Catastrophzer.
To recap, a Catastrophizer is someone who turns every situation, every potential set back or problem into a catastrophe.
It's like the opposite of being on Prozac.
We're talking about someone who sees the possible worst in every situation.

My Mom has left on a trip, a pilgrimage to Jerusalem last Tuesday. And while she left us an itinerary, she left no contact numbers.

I thought this was impressive - even more so, was the fact that she hadn't called in since she left. Weird, but I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I figured she was just enjoying her time, and decided not to check-in.

Yesterday afternoon the phone rings:

"Hi, is this Mira?"
"Yes it is"
"Hi my Mom is your Mom's roommate on the trip to Israel and she asked me to call you to have you call her, here's the number..."
"Oh, ok, thanks"
"Listen, they're in the dining room right now, but she asked that you call her right away, so when you get through to the Hotel, ask for the dining room"
"Oh, ok, thanks"

So I do as I was asked and dutifully call the hotel dining room, interrupting the dinner of numerous guests.
And the staff finally gets my Mom on the phone.

"Hi Nana" (my nickname for her)
"Hi ya Habibti" (Arabic endearment)
"So how's your Trip?" - Now I should have known better than to just straight out ask this question, foolish me.
"Oh! You can not believe, I have a cold, I can barely lift my head off the pillow, I am taking Advil every day, it's terrible!"

"That's ok Mom, it's just a cold, take some medicine and enjoy the tours"
"Oh yes, well my roommate has some antibiotics, so I will take some from her, because this cold is just unbearable"
"What! Mom, you can't take somebody else's antibiotics - plus, it's just a cold"
"No, you don't understand, if I don't take the antibiotics, maybe I get Typhoid!"
"Mom, when's the last time you heard about someone getting Typhoid from a cold? anyways - have you been talking any pictures?"

"Well, nothing really, the cameras are no good, they don't encourage me to take pictures?"
"What are you talking about? You haven't taken any pictures?"
"No, I took 2 rolls full, but I'm just saying the cameras are no good, and the place is so much more beautiful than the pictures I am taking. Probably they will be ugly pictures!"

"Ok, so, so far you've complained to me about your health and your cameras, and it's cost me probably $30 to hear it, and now your dinner's cold - was there anything else you wanted to tell me about?" - Did I actually say that out loud? Have I succumbed to the Catastrophizer that runs in my blood, or am I simply shooting her with a dose of her own medicine.
Please Lord, let it be the latter!

"No, that's everything" - said so despondently, it almost sounds as if she's sad that she's not miserable about anything else!!

"Ok, well have a great time! Enjoy your experience!"
"Ok thanks, bye"

Even across an ocean, the Catastrophizing is strong with this one.