On Saturday we had a Pastor come over to visit to pray for my aunt who has been very sick for a couple of weeks.
So he comes in, sits down, looks straight at me and says "next time I come over, I don't need to see a new car, what I'd like to see is your groom".
To which I reply "yeah, me too!"
So then he starts grilling me on all the stuff I'm doing to find me a husband - I told him I faithfully take out my sandwich board and bell wandering the streets of the city nightly taking applications. (ok, I didn't actually say that, but I really was thinking it)
Then he starts making suggestions around finding someone "back home" - right, just what I need a mail-order husband.
I will let you imagine how wonderfully enhancing to my self-esteem this conversation was ('cause you know since nobody in this Country obviously wants me - well there's always the guys in other countries looking for immigration)
So finally he finishes his exposition and turns to my aunt to ask about her health. And I think Phew!
Ah poor naive me - to think it might have been over.
As he's leaving he turns to me and says "I'd like to give you a little more advice"
"you just need a little bit of diet and exercise, just a little ok? Do you exercise"
"Yes I do, I run 3 times a week actualy"
"oh, ok well then just a little bit of diet then. It's ok because you're tall, but just a little bit of diet". (heaven forbid if if I was short and fat there would be no hope for me, but since I'm tall and fat, some guy may just be willing to settle for me).
What was up with this guy???
I don't think he could have picked on anything else - unless he started telling me I was too smart and shouldn't have gotten all my degrees.
Well at least now I know what's standing in my way - me.
So here I sit in Starbucks, all wired up (woo hoo) and I'm scanning the room....
By the way, I'm still accepting applications ;)
11 comments:
Listen, Mir, I know you're religious and all (and I imagine most of the people checking your blog are), but being a Pastor doesn't give you the right to be rude. You know what I can't stand more than people who are outwardly mean? People who think they're doing you a favour when they damage your sense of self-worth. Then again, I've got issues about that stuff.
So, the good thing is that you know enough about Psychology to remove the emotions from the equation and see, subjectively, that his good intentions were not matching up with his message at all.
Any way, you're a catch-and-a-half who isn't willing to settle for just any guy, and there's nothing wrong with that. So help me, if you end up "settling" for someone who doesn't value you for what you are, there's gonna be a talkin' coming your way (and his!).
*hugs*
Next time this guy is going to be coming over, I think there needs to be a good excuse for you not to be there. Give one of us a buzz; I'm sure one of us would be up for a little [window] shopping therapy or whatnot until he leaves. There's nothing wrong with you, but I can't say the same for him...Leah's right, someone in his position has no right to be an insensitive jerk, however well-meaning.
At least he didn't propose!
Miriam, you certainly don't have anything to worry about. This Pastor seems to be out of touch. The average age at which a Canadian woman marries for the first time is 28.2 years (2001 census) and growing, you're hardly at the end of your rope. Plus you're pretty cute just as you are. :) Besides which, 38% of marriages end in divorce, so spend the extra time finding the right person and getting it right the first time. You need to spend less time with people like that Pastor, and more time enjoying your life. Not that I know what I'm talking about.
Dude's a Jerk! You and me girl, we don't need a man to make us complete, but we both agree it sure would be nice. We also know that God has great plans for us. Sometimes we get impatient, but that's our perogative. Nobody else has a right to impose impatience upon us. If they're not comfortable with us taking care of ourselves that's their problem.
Hugs!
Thanks all -
You are definitely soothing medicine to the ego-beating I received.
And lo, the stone which had sealed the tomb was rolled away and beneath it lived a pastor from the 21st century who insisted on making hahrsh judgments of women he barely knew. Yea, going too far to criticize their appearance and suggest mail-order husbands for them.
And it came to pass in those days that Miriam, daughter of Egypt, princess over her world, radiant and fair and wise beyond the measures of the common man, paid no heed to the stranger who offended her. For Miriam knew herself and was true to herself and knew the words of the pastor who lived beneath the rock could not harm her like rocks or insects could.
Instead, Miriam knew herself to be one of the fairest maidens in the land, one whose Franco Sarto sandals the pastor was not worthy to untie.
"A husband she seeks! For without one, she is incomplete!" cried the voice of the pastor and the many who had gathered to say unto her these things.
And Miriam, looking upon the crowd, answered them saying, "I seek not a husband, nor do I wish a husband to complete me. For I am complete. And I seek only relationship with one with whom I can share my completeness, my love for life, my joy of being smart, funny and a young woman who's all that and a bag of chips. Nay, seek ye not a husband, for husbands shall never fill the hole in your hearts. Discourage not others by rendering unto them comments of malice and hurt. It is you who are incomplete. I need no mail order husbands, for what good is ordering through the mail? I need no quick fix, for when the time is right for me to love someone as much as I love God, I will rejoyce with lutes, the lyre, clashing of cymbals, the tambourine, fig newtons, car air fresheners, fruit bats, breakfast cereals and wheat germ.
You will look upon me and say, "Lo, here comes Miriam with her husband. One whom she truly loves and who is not a mail order husband and one who truly loves her completely!" And I will see you and say, "That'll be $20.00 of unleaded, please. Oh, and could you check my oil?""
And Miriam's friends looked upon her blog and said unto themselves, "Who could do such a thing as to cause our Miriam such unpleasantness?" And they looked among themselves and laid no hand to the sword or to the torch, for they were better than that and led by better example. And it was good. And Miriam was good, and still is good and will continue being good. Good company, good fun, good friend.
Amen.
ROTFL!!!
Anonymous - I wish I new who you were, 'cause I would send you flowers!
Flowers shaped like little Franco Sarto shoes, 'cause he does design the best shoes :)
Mir, you should save to to be read at your wedding reception. I know the perfect person to read it too. ;)
Sounds like the kind of conversation that makes it’s way around our dinner table at family gatherings! My family is SO like this guy it’s beyond funny, they say whatever comes to mind, without a thought as to who they might offend. LMAO!
I’ve learned over the years that they've good intentions, but I almost peed my pants laughing after watching Kev read a letter where my aunt [from thousands of miles away] was lecturing me on “getting fat”.
Fun times, fun times. And you wonder why we try to keep family gatherings separate from friend gatherings. ;)
Just to throw my 2 cents in... frankly, I LIKE your car and think it's a huge improvement over the last one. :)
Hi Miriam!
I've been reading all of your blogs backwards (most recent first)! First of all, I like your posts! And second of all, I think your pastor is doubling (tripling?) as a dating consultant and a dietician. I didn't know pastors could do that, but I guess there's no law saying that we can't work 3 jobs at once. After listening to all of his ridiculous comments, maybe you should have told him (in French, of course) that you were going to put a mob hit on him! Ho ho ho!
Margaret
p.s.
I want to see your new car. (pout)
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