Sunday, June 28, 2009

Hidden Talent

If you're a girl you're very familiar with the ability to put a shirt on top of another shirt and then take the shirt underneath off. Without showing an inch of skin the entire time.

If you ask a girl how we learned to do so, we'll talk about gym class and modesty - truth is it's an expression of insecurity about the quality of our bodies underneath.
So we all learn to do it pretty early on, and we do it often, and perfect it while still pretty young.

Today I was at Canada's Wonderland, and I got a little chilly around 8:30pm, so I put my sweatshirt on. but then I found that because I had 2 T-Shirts on underneath, it was a little too hot. So I twisted and finagled, and managed to take my base layer T-Shirt off, under the other T-Shirt and Sweatshirt. And True to form, I do so without flashing an inch of skin.

Well I was impressed with my accomplishment - it's not easy taking a fitted T off under another slightly less fitted T. And so as we were leaving the concert area, I wondered about my ability to do accomplish a similar task with pants.

I was wearing my jean capris (they are loose, this has an effect). So I took my also very loose yoga pants out of my bag, and put them on on top of my jean capris. Well with twisting and hopping, and taking off of a shoe - I did it!

I was able to take off one pair of pants from underneath another pair of pants without flashing anybody.

Angela is my witness.

Admittedly I must have looked ridiculous, hopping around on one foot. And when I managed to get one leg off, and had to shove it back up over to the other leg to then come down and off - I had a few moments where I looked like I had an elephant crawling down my leg under my pants.

But a monumental accomplishment it remains, despite how foolish it may have looked.

I feel very accomplished and proud.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What a way to start the day

So this morning I'm minding my own business and driving to work on a dreary, drizzly Thursday morning.

I look over to my left, and the guy in the passenger seat of a white cube van is looking over at me. (you know the kinda van, where they store dead bodies in the back in B movies).

So I kinda look away, but then peek back again, and smile at him.

So now he rolls down his window, and is kinda half sticking out - to look over at me.

Ok so this has pushed past my threshold of ok into mildly concerning/creepy - and I do my best not to look at him again.

Well about a block and half later he leans out, and blows me a kiss. I couldn't help but giggle.
Then the car had to change lanes, and I continued along my merry way to work.

But suddenly I was smiling despite the dreary drizzly day.

Thank you cute stranger - it was a nice way to start my day.

Monday, June 01, 2009

The Friend Zone

Do you have any friends who just always seem to magically float from one relationship to another? You know the guy/gal who always seems to meet someone at the grocery store, or Tim Horton's, after about 2 weeks of being single. And somehow their 5 minute conversation with this incredibly cute member of the opposite sex, leads to a phone number exchange, and usually at least a few dates, if nothing else.

And then there are people like me (please God, don't let me be the only one!) We have no trouble talking to people of the opposite sex, and make friends quite easily. But somehow for that one person that we kinda like, we always seem to NOT turn into a potential love interest for them, but rather a best bud.

Somehow you go from imagining what your "new name" would sound like, to giving him advice about how to approach the person he's interested in. The advice giving smarts worse than road rash on your face with your salty sweat running down into it.

I know that I am very guarded about my interest in someone, and I wonder if most of the guys I've liked would even have a clue that I ever did. But still - how is it that this keeps happening to me?

I have developed a theory that every interaction with an available member of the opposite sex (assuming that is whom you are attracted to), begins with the potential for a more than just friends relationship. No matter how buried beneath the surface, and unbeknownst to your conscious mind - it's there. Now there seems to be a pivotal point where the potential shifts and you are firmly in the friend zone.

I don't know what tips the scales in the favour of the friend zone. I refuse to buy the line "you're just too good a catch" - that's a bunch of malarky. If you truly were that incredible a catch, shouldn't you be beating off suitors with a stick?! (but thanks for trying to stroke my battered Ego anyways)

And the timing is not fixed - it can take a moment, a day, a week or a month. I've personally never had it take more than a month, but that may be just me.

So many variables remain undisclosed. And the mystery of the friend zone remains.

Nothing I can do about it, until I figure it out I guess - until then, here's to my next "friend".