Ok I've got a beef.
I am going to make a general statement here, and in my experience it is 100% true (yep, 100%)
When a guy is not interested, instead of letting you know he's not interested, he wusses out and just doesn't call you back - even if he tells you he will call you.
I'm a nice girl, and I've been on dates where I do not click with the person I'm with, and I call them and tell then that we didn't click.
It's not rude or impolite, in fact I think it's very respectful.
Here's how the conversation usually goes:
Me: Hi
Guy: Hi
Me: I had a nice evening, and enjoyed meeting you last week/night/Wednesday/etc
Guy: yeah, me too
Me: I just didn't feel like we connected as I was hoping we would
Guy: uhhhhh
Me: But I did have a nice evening, thanks for lunch/dinner/movie/etc, and good luck with (whatever we talked about on the date)
Guy: yeah, thanks, you too
See, not so huge.
It's not like it's easy for me to make that call, but I figure it's the respectful thing to do.
So why the heck don't guys do that?? And if you're not going to call, for heaven's sake don't say you're going to call.
That's my beef.
I get it if you're not interested, and I'm ok with that (there's lots of times when I'm not interested either) , just tell me nicely.
11 comments:
Yes, I have found your general statement to be true in my experience as well. Egads, then it MUST be true, and universally so! ;P
Ah, Miriam. Here's hoping you find a situation where the clicking happens both ways. You're too good a catch to stay single for much longer. (I'm still not a lesbian, by the way.)
The secret is to know him well in advance so that he can't brush you off. Hard for 'im to ignore you if you share an office. :)
I totally agree! The good news of course is that when you meet Mr. Right, he will call you back and he will be calling to arrange another date! :D
interesting how all the boys are remaining silent on this topic as well.
Not sure what there is to be said. I've always called when I said I would, even if just to say I wouldn't be calling again. I don't think I've ever just left a girl hanging.
I think that if this is what's happened, it just shows that the guy is a coward and you're better off without him around anyway. On to the next one! :)
I'm inclined to agree with kevin. In general, if I feel like I wouldn't want to call, I don't promise that I would. Guys like that aren't of any quality anyway.
Conversely, girls are good at giving mixed signals, and are usually waaaaaaay too passive.
Hang on, now I remember a girl in high school, who wouldn't explicitly say no to my date requests, but never actually let me set a time and place. So you girls do it too.
Ok, I'll aquiese to your statement.
You will note that I didn't say girls don't do it, just that I have a beef with guys who do, do it.
And I am with you completely on the mixed signals thing - I think girls are usually just a little too worried about hurting someone else's feelings.
I am not advocating that, but I do advocate being straight forward - which can totally be done respectfully and politely.
Granted. The reason some guys don't call is also being too worried about hurting someone else's feeling. The rest are just asses.
Being "straight forward"? Curious. Perhaps I ought to try that.
The thing with Mr. Right is that he'll do all the right things... look at it this way, a guy not calling when he said he would is a sure way to weed out a Mr. Wrong right away.
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