The Time Warp

For those of you that know me well, you know that I am rarely on-time for anything.

This tends to bug a lot of people, quite a bit - as it is often seen as a lack of respect for the other person and the other person's time.

I know I say it a lot, but I genuinely and truly do not mean any disrespect, either consciously or subconsciously.

I've had several theories about why I am perpetually late, all of which I believe hold water:

#1 - I just try to squeeze way too much into a single day.  I have a hard time saying no, and I hate feeling like I'm passing up something worthwhile, fun or a chance to spend time with somebody -  so I almost always try to fit it all in.  Which ends up being too many things for the fixed hours in a day.

#2 - I grossly underestimate how long the transit time between locations will take me.  This sneaks up on me in 2 ways, it means I don't allot enough time to get somewhere, and then I am always surprised by traffic and travel time.

#3 - I have this waking-up issue, and sleep trumps about 99% of everything else in my life.  I would go hungry to get more sleep, and only get up to use the facilities if I find myself in physical pain.  So being somewhere in the mornings is always a tough act for me.  I hit snooze for a donkey's age, and then jump out of bed late before I even start getting ready.

#4 - My home often feels like a black hole from whence I can not easily escape.  I speculate that it's because I am rarely home, so if I am it must be because I am really tired.  There is something about my place that once inside leaving it again can take monumental effort, and the effort to get up and out takes considerable time which drives the mechanism of lateness even more.

Today, I noticed something that I think can safely be added to the reasons why I am so regularly late.  I think there is a rift in the space-time continuum that exists between my front door and my car door.
I swear it to be true.

Today, I was going out to visit some friends, and we had agreed on a meeting time of 1:30pm.  So I left my house at 1:13pm, I did check the digital clock on my stove.  When I got into the car and turned the ignition, the stereo clock indicated it was 1:23pm.  Now, while I was not timing my descent, I can say with certainty that I did not spend 10 minutes in transit from my front door to my car door.

I know the logical conclusion is that one of the clocks must be off - BUT, I set my stove clock to the TV guide, so that must be accurate. And I set my car stereo to the radio station (and actually I think it's 2 minutes behind, so there is actually a 12 minute lag in time to be accounted for).

I live on the second floor, and park in P@ - so that's 3 stories to descend, plus elevator wait time and let's say the 1 minute it takes to walk from the elevator to my car - that can't equal 12 minutes.

Something is not adding up here....

So the next time I'm late, please know that it's not my fault: between the black hole, rift in the space time continuum, my inability to accurately estimate travel time, and my zest for squeezing every last drop out of a day - it's a miracle I ever make it anywhere at all!