Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Can anybody find me, somebody to love.....

I have a confession. I have a random crush. A guy I met a few times as a work connection. He's smart, nice, quotes random facts, and looks like a librarian. check, check, check - everything I go for. And if I am totally honest, it's kinda fun to giggle about liking someone, like Junior High revisited. Today, the little fantasy happiness I had constructed in my head, was assaulted, and destroyed. It's a good thing. Sustained delusion are not good for the psyche....... But it's also kinda sad. Rejection no matter how imagined manages to still smart. (yes, I am totally aware that you can't actually be rejected by someone who has no idea that you giggle and blush when you think about him in your head) I read in a book somewhere that "rejection always leads to something better". Might be true - it's yet to be confirmed. But the author failed to mentioned that the path to better isn't necessarily always free of rocks or debris. I never realized my self-identity was so sensitive to rejection. Not really sure if it's just me, or if everybody else needs the same mental safety padding. Reminds me of the Golden Chisel of Opportunity conversation that was had 4 years back (wow! years! already!) and the cycle continues.....