Do you have any friends who just always seem to magically float from one relationship to another? You know the guy/gal who always seems to meet someone at the grocery store, or Tim Horton's, after about 2 weeks of being single. And somehow their 5 minute conversation with this incredibly cute member of the opposite sex, leads to a phone number exchange, and usually at least a few dates, if nothing else.
And then there are people like me (please God, don't let me be the only one!) We have no trouble talking to people of the opposite sex, and make friends quite easily. But somehow for that one person that we kinda like, we always seem to NOT turn into a potential love interest for them, but rather a best bud.
Somehow you go from imagining what your "new name" would sound like, to giving him advice about how to approach the person he's interested in. The advice giving smarts worse than road rash on your face with your salty sweat running down into it.
I know that I am very guarded about my interest in someone, and I wonder if most of the guys I've liked would even have a clue that I ever did. But still - how is it that this keeps happening to me?
I have developed a theory that every interaction with an available member of the opposite sex (assuming that is whom you are attracted to), begins with the potential for a more than just friends relationship. No matter how buried beneath the surface, and unbeknownst to your conscious mind - it's there. Now there seems to be a pivotal point where the potential shifts and you are firmly in the friend zone.
I don't know what tips the scales in the favour of the friend zone. I refuse to buy the line "you're just too good a catch" - that's a bunch of malarky. If you truly were that incredible a catch, shouldn't you be beating off suitors with a stick?! (but thanks for trying to stroke my battered Ego anyways)
And the timing is not fixed - it can take a moment, a day, a week or a month. I've personally never had it take more than a month, but that may be just me.
So many variables remain undisclosed. And the mystery of the friend zone remains.
Nothing I can do about it, until I figure it out I guess - until then, here's to my next "friend".
3 comments:
:(
Boo! Want me to beat him up?
In all seriousness -- and bearing in mind that I'm considerably more direct than most -- perhaps you're being defeatist. I think the attitude that you are now planted squarely in friend-territory may be working against you. Have you considered whether or not you write off the potential for a romantic relationship once he starts asking for relationship advice? I mean, just because he's expressing an interest in someone else might not mean that he hasn't thought of you in the same way -- he may even, in some cases, be "testing the water" to see if you're interested.
Any way, never forget that if he "doesn't see you that way", that it's his loss. You're one of the awesomest (yes, that's a made-up word) people I know and anybody else who can't see that's a) not good enough for you and (b) a flaming idiot.
An old friend and I came up with a realization back in skool :
When you’re looking or interested in someone, they don’t notice/respond. It’s when you give up, honestly decide you don’t need anyone and thoroughly start enjoying life without someone that they all come to some divine revelation about how wonderful you are. & then, it’s up to you to decide whether you're interested or not. (Cuz you're having too much fun being single..)
Funny how life screws with you, eh?
We need to do a girls night Mir.. I'm up for a stitch & b1tch sometime if you are. :)
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