And on occasion, I have paid dearly for that choice.
For me Junior High was the most peer pressured time. I know the stereo-type is that High School should be the worst, but for me High School was a relief. It was a place, where everybody was mostly the same, and we did not have a lot of labels for people. We still had "loosers", but you had to be pretty weird to get that label, and there were very few of them. Other than that, we all had the freedom to do our own thing.
Junior High was a different story, littered with cliques, and popularity contests - it was a self-esteem nightmare.
And I had several moments where I believe that I did shine, and lots when I didn't.
One time, I had failed a test in History - I think it was. I got something around 42% (which was surprisingly higher than the class average on that test). I thought that the teacher had added incorrectly and given me 10 extra marks. So I went and told him - I remember him saying, "Are you sure you want me to check that? You've done quite poorly already".
And I remember my reply. "I don't want any marks I didn't earn and don't deserve".
I am proud of myself for that moment.
I remember being ridiculed for a lot of things in school, my weight, my Faith, my curly hair, the list goes on.......
And while I didn't always respond with grace or wisdom, the moments when I did, shine for me.
I only hope that as I continue to age and mature (hopefully maturity comes with age), that I will have more and more shining moments.
So that at the end of my life, when I look back, what I will see will be like a glorious night sky littered with more shining starts than I can count.
3 comments:
My dark times were also jr. high school, essentially grades 7-9. The problem is that around that time, people start maturing at different rates. And in the struggle for self-esteem, some capitalize on differences in order to boost themselves.
I was fortunate enough to have a small number of select friends during those periods that made my life bearable. They are some of my oldest friends, since we remain friends to this day.
P.S. Curly hair is awesome. I hear it's not much fun to maintain though.
I find that the best thing about getting older is that you become more secure in who you are, and feel the need, less and less, to be apologetic about it.
Arise, curly-haired people of the world! Yeah, junior high can be tough. I think I was lucky that the gifted program (and only the gifted program) at my elementary school went up to grade 8, so not only were we in that "top of the pecking order" that came with being grade 7/8 in a K-8 school, we also pretty much had all been around each other since grade 4 (and the gifted program only had so many students, so we were like a family...I think part of the reason few gifted students marry each other is because it would be like marrying your brother!). However, when I moved from Girl Guides up to the next level (Pathfinders), I didn't last long because I found there the kinds of problems you refer to in your jr. high.
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